Since Baldur’s Gate 3‘s uber-beefy Patch 7 arrived yesterday, folks on PC have naturally delved in to sapmple all of its new features – especially those extra evil endings. As it turns out, some of them are the kind of emotional rollercoaster not even the most hardened Durge can endure without feeling something. That said, the biggest heartbreak has been saved for folks who love a certain bard.
If you want the full rundown of what’s included in the patch now the full notes are out there, you should check out you’ll find ’em here. Also, it’s out on PC right now, but you’ve got a bit more waiting to do if you want to play it on console or Mac.
Warning: Major spoilers for Baldur’s Gate 3 and its new endings lie ahead.
Right, so since the patch went live, folks have begun sampling the new endings, and been left either in awe, or with severe emotional damage. In the first camp, there’s Karlach’s evil ending, which has rightly been described as “absolutely metal” and sees her basically cut a wrestling promo on the citizens of Baldur’s Gate, before summoning some demons and ripping out her heart.
It’s your favorite golden retriever with zero chill, and her voice actor Samantha Béart’s responded to people loving the performance by shouting out the script and directors, as well as saying they’ll frame a one fan’s response to the scene that ended with “damn, my dick hard.”
Then there are the endings that see you kill the likes of Shadowheart and Gale and have them utter some unforgettable last words before plummeting into the abyss, with both “I…I thought we were going to save each other” and “You made me want to live” having seemingly made people do at home equvivalent of falling your knees in the supermarket.
However, the biggest heartbreak looks to have been saved for those who thought Larian had been teasing in community updates that the patch would make Alfira a full-blown perma-companion or change her fate in Dark Urge playthroughs. Sadly, Larian wrote in the patch’s notes: “We remember clearly stating in Community Update #28 that if you are playing as the Dark Urge, a certain bard would now be able to join the party as a controllable character at camp if there’s an empty slot, TEMPORARILY.
“It would seem some of you didn’t pick up what we were putting down. There are no new companions. There is only death.” Oof. As you can tell by the folks saying stuff like “I’m sure someone will find a way to break the game to keep her” and “Those evil bastards at Larian love twisting the knife”, the Alfira stanship is taking this pretty well.